More is better?

 Some people seem content with their lives and themselves for the most part and others seem to have an inner restlessness and neediness. 

When I was growing up, my brother and I were very different.  I was happy with what I had, with the attention I got from our parents and with life in general for the most part.  He was never satisfied with what he got, with the attention he was given and with his life in general.  This made him restless, jealous, unhappy and malcontent all the time.  If our mother gave us two cookies, I was happy to get two cookies but he argued for more.  If she spent time with him and gave him attention, he needed more.  He needed so much that she often felt exhausted by his needs and said that out loud.

This is not totally a learned trait.  I know this because I see it in my own children.  One is a lot like my brother; no matter how much attention or things she gets, she seems to need more.  The other is contented and happy with herself and her life.   I fear the first  will never be happy.  People like that are never satisfied no matter how much they have or how much attention they get.  There are arguments which say  that such people are the ones who do great things because they are not content  with things as they are.  Perhaps that is so but at what personal, happiness price do they accomplish such things?

As a parent, I wish happiness for my children.  Of course I know they will not be happy all the time but what parent would wish to sit back and see their child suffer unhappiness?  I cannot do anything about it but I wish there were some way to help.

Some people are not malcontent but ADD.  ADD causes people to be restless and  always seeking novelty to reduce boredom.  

Malcontents and ADD folks not only feel unhappy, they often induce unhappiness in others.  When a malcontent or ADD person   marries a contented, non-ADD  person, there can be problems.  The malcontent/ADD  may desire location changes a lot or job changes or partner changes.  This causes a lot of misery for the contented partner and the children because children need stability.

Too often, a malcontent/ADD person marries a contented person because opposites attract and the contented person is not as likely to leave or cheat.  The contented person ends up hurt because the malcontent/ADD person never seems satisfied no matter what the contented person is or does.  It is really important for the contented person to realize that it isn't them;  they cannot make their malcomtented/ADD partner happy.

Malcontents and ADD people  have to be made responsible for their actions; especially those which are harmful to others such as cheating.  The old "if you love me you will let me" is bullshit and the worst kind of emotional manipulation.  Using ADD or malcontent as an excuse is not healthy.  People get hurt, children get damaged and the malcontent/ADD person should be able to consider others' needs as well as their own and work for balance.

Our society helps induce a sense of malcontent.  The media plays a role in this because people are told they would be happier if they bought this product or lived this lifestyle when in fact, the opposite is usually true.  We are surrounded by messages that tell us we never have enough; enough money, time, attention, sex, love, house, prestige, etc.   So even if a person is not genetically malcontent or ADD, they still may act like that due to social conditioning which was designed to sell products and promote consumption.

This way of socializing people begins in childhood and is a non-stop bombardment throughout life.  Between this bombardment and the social message that the individual is all-important (as opposed to the group or family); we have become a culture of malcontents.  The fallout is that our children are damaged and unhappy.

Whether it is from genetics or socialization, the malcontent has to stop or at least be managed better.  Our families, relationships, and especially our kids need a better way to live.

The American Dream?

People these days, especially the Tea Party folks, are talking about "taking back our government and the American Dream."  They seem to think that social programs like universal health care will destroy the American Dream.  The problem is, they don't realize that the American Dream has already been eroded beyond their ability to understand it.  The American Dream was always to be able to open your own business, grow it and eventually become wealthy; this was the promise of democratic capitalism.  Little do most people realize that this dream is no longer available to most Americans and it is not because of "too much government"  or "too much regulation"  or "social programs."  It is because the huge and powerful corporation owners and shareholders have skewed the business playing field to benefit them and only them. 


When I was a kid in the 1960's, government regulation meant that big corporations paid 29% of all the taxes in America;  now de-regulation has allowed them to pay between 0% and 5% of all taxes.  Instead, small businesses now pay HIGHER taxes than big corporations. What's more, Big Oil, Big Pharma and many other big companies enjoy government "subsidies"  or better words for these  would be "corporate welfare."  These corporations have so taken over our government that they now get the laws they want and skew things to such a degree that the American dream of owning your own business and growing it into personal wealth has fallen to the wayside.


Small businesses as a group are the largest employers in this country yet they pay the highest taxes of all businesses and are government regulated to death, literally.  More small businesses fail within the first five years than ever before and the owners lose, their employees lose, we ALL lose.    


When will Americans wake up and realize that it isn't Obama, socialism, government regulation, universal healthcare, or big government that is stealing their American Dream; it is the big corporations and they need to be stopped?


Most Americans are too busy fighting about things like gay marriage, abortion and prayer in schools to realize that these polarizing issues were fed to us to divide us so we won't fight to get back the American Dream from the big corporations.  Divide and conquer, make people fearful with TV programs that spout doom and gloom, get people to believe in scarcity and they will fight like hungry wolves over everything.  Keep them busy fighting and tearing each other down;  keep them busy watching denigrating,  competitive television shows  so they don't see how their American Dream has been stolen from them.  Anesthetize them with superfluous and mindless "entertainment"  that dumbs them down and polarizes them. 


How do we stop this corporate robbery?  That's easier than anyone would think.  We the people vote and if we gather together instead of allowing those big media and corporate folks to divide us over polarizing issues, we can rise up and vote out every incumbent in office.  We can notify congress that each newly voted in senator or representative will only get six years to do the jobs we voted them in for;  two to get their feet wet, two to get some work done, and two to wrap things up.  After that, we elect new people and start the six years over again.  We TELL each newly elected congressperson that WE are imposing TERM LIMITS on them and then we STICK TO THAT. We tell them that we impose these term limits so they spend their time getting the work done that WE want them to do instead of pandering to special interests to get re-elected. We tell them that if they still pander to corporate and special interest groups, we will not even give them six years; we will vote them out sooner.   This means WE have to stop being complacent and  take responsibility for keeping track of each newly elected person and  re-elect them to the point that they get six years in and ONLY six years. 


The next thing we can do is STOP SPENDING.  Hop off the consumption conveyor belt and only buy what you absolutely need.  Use recycled things (shop at thrift and used goods stores) swap things (use freecycle online for that) and get good at being careful with what you do have.  Be less wasteful.  If we all stop spending, yes, some more people will be left with no jobs but as we get more self sufficient at growing our own food, recycling and reusing things, living simpler, being frugal, it will hurt us less if we do lose our jobs.
Big corporations will have to hear us because we will rob them by attrition of what they value most; MONEY.  Hit their bottom line and they will finally hear us roar.


If every American stopped wrapping themselves in some polarizing position and started doing this, imagine the changes we could make!
It is time for ALL of us to arise from our stupor of the past decades and work for the government we deserve and  stop the corporate take over via attrition. 

Stop Corporate America's Greed

How many of us have written or called our congresspersons and tried to get them to see that we must have a public option or universal health care?  How many of us have picketed, marched, written articles to newspapers, written media outlets, passed out pamphlets, carried signs, pasted on bumperstickers, written President Obama and congress to stop the war, give us universal health care,  regulate corporations and the banking industry...all to no avail?    Do you feel like nothing we do makes any headway with those in power in Washington?  Even voting doesn't seem to work anymore; our own party members have turned against us.

I am here to tell you there is something you CAN do and it won't cost you a dime.  STOP spending.  That's right, stop buying stuff, stop spending money.  Barter, buy used at thrift stores and yard sales, make do, live without, grow food in a community garden, help your neighbors, use freecycle, live with family or let them live with you and pool your resources, dry your clothes on a line, use less electricity, drive less. Take all your money out of the bank and put it in a credit union or even in a safe in your home.   If we stop consuming and take our money back, we can bring corporate America and the banks to their knees.  It will be painful at first because more jobs will be lost but the more we help each other, the more simply we live, the less those lost jobs will impact us.  We CAN affect change through attrition.  Cut corporate America and the banks off where it counts...in their bottom line, their PROFITS.  Make NO loans, buy nothing for Christmas, have Buy-Nothing birthday parties at home with friends,  make it a contest to see how much you can get for free or at used places.   Have neighborhood  freecycle parties where you don't buy anything to have the party, you all can walk to it, and you get to know your neighbors. 

After all, as we get used to living with less and make human connections and support networks, the less we have the less they can harm us because we will have the most important thing of all, each other and our dignity. 

Do it now.  Stop buying, stop consuming.  If it isn't a necessity, don't buy it.  There's power in attrition.  We can be the "mouse that roars."