Birthdays

Today my first-born twin daughters turn 19.  Where did the time go?  One day they were small enough to hold their little butts in one hand and now they are grown, young women.  And amazing ones at that.  How did  that happen?  Their dad had something to do with it as did I.  Other people helped too;  friends, teachers, their friends. 

 I  am often surprised at how mature they are, despite lacking experience in so many things.  I really like them as people and I am glad they are who they are.  Each is a unique person and different.  That is what makes them so fascinating to me. 

They are full of ideas and enthusiasm but they are also feeling really angry because of the future they see ahead.  They saw their father and I struggle our whole lives only to be pushed back to the ground.  They have seen the disparity between the 99% and the 1%, the systematic rape of the planet's resources, the marginalization of gays and minorities and women,  and they are pissed off.  They feel love for all people and animals and the planet.  They want to get on with their lives but the economy and  patriarchy feel like huge, insurmountable walls, blocking  their potential.  They worry about money and the family and their futures. 

 They don't care  if someone is gay, bi, transgender, lesbian, Black, Latino, Asian, Native, Semitic;  these things don't matter to them.  They want gay marriages to be legal.  They want poly marriages to be legal.  What matters is how we all treat one another.    They see other young adults their age and they shudder because of the seeming shallowness, the lack of thinking, the sheep-like attitudes so many exhibit.  Both of them feel powerless a lot. 

As Occupy Wall Street gains momentum, their sense of empowerment rises;  I see it in their eyes.

 As their mother, I hope for their future and I offer them my support wherever and however they go and whoever they be.  It is what I can do and I hope it is enough.

About community-making....

My friend the Atheist and I were talking the other day about community-making.  We both have been very puzzled about something.  Why is it that religious people seem to be able to form such close community groups but people that are secular and/or  spiritual can't?  The local homeschool group we belong to is secular so the people in it are getting together just for the homeschooling yet they resisted forming a lending library amongst themselves, hardly show up to events that members schedule and just seem to avoid any sense of community altogether. We live in difficult times and my friend and I have realized just how much community means to us but we cannot seem to find others that feel the same.  Our society has become so extremely individualized and polarized that people just don't seem to want to get together....unless they follow some religion.  Do we have to accept "the package"  of some religion in order to get community, even if it means not being true to ourselves and our belief or non-belief?

 Last December, I was appointed to the job  of arranging the  group charity in which we "adopt" a needy family and donate food, paper and soap goods, clothing, money and gifts for the family.  My friend and I hoped we could make this a real fun community event.  Out of 62 families on our group e-mail list, nine responded and we raised a lot of food, paper stuff, money, and gave a lot of gifts for the family.  I scheduled a meeting place for free with three hours for wrapping the gifts and socializing.  One of the leaders of our group even said "Oh good, I love a party, lets bring food and drinks and celebrate after we wrap the gifts."   Yet when we all got there, they couldn't wrap the gifts fast enough and then left right after it was done.  There was still over and hour left that we had for the meeting space and everyone was gone but my friend and I.  Even the leader that had seemed so happy about the "party"  element of the wrapping left early.

My friend's neighbor is religious and has such a community feeling about her.  It is really sad that in order to get some community you have to convert to a religion and join their church or synagogue or whatever in order to belong to a community.  Why can't atheists and just plain spiritual people not get together for purposes of community without a religious belief cementing them together?  Why isn't just being a community of friends enough?  My friend and I tried to build a community around secular homeschooling ....we really did but for some reason, it just didn't happen.  What a shame because now, we are all going to need each other more than ever; especially those that are not religiously affiliated.