Some really fast computers are amazing; they juggle a lot of information and get a lot done. Yet even a really fast computer, if loaded with too many complex programs running at the same time, can get slowed down.
I feel like that computer.
I am fast; I think fast and think several steps ahead of most people, I talk fast, I understand concepts fast, I extrapolate things fast, I sense and intuit things fast and I do things fast. I make a lot of people nervous because of how fast I process things, how much energy I have at my age, how open minded I am, and how much I get done. They freak out when they find out how much I am doing mentally every day. I am a 220 volt, fast processor person. Yet even I have a limit on how many programs I can run at once.
I am running the entire household. Everyone does that, right? But I run it two steps ahead, always thinking of every one of the five other people's physical, emotional, mental and spiritual needs, as well as my own. Yep I think about all that. I think of the future and take steps NOW to have a long-term outcome that is beneficial for everyone in the family. I do all the finances, all the household inventory, menu planning, meal making, event planning and implementation (including financial considerations for these) and family health appointments. I handle three ADD people in the house, one non-ADD person who is having anger about having to "help" her siblings who are ADD, one growing boy and a complex husband all the while growing, learning and changing my own self and inner life. I keep up on local and national politics, vote every election, write politicians about issues, phone them up too, write the local paper and editorial sections of state papers. I keep everyone eating healthier than most. I make lesson plans for two kids, teach one of those kids, monitor the other three kids and take 12 credits per semester of upper division online classes for my own degree. Meanwhile, I explore things I didn't know and read everything I can. I maintain relationships both deep and superficial, and I keep up a homeschool P E day group as well as taxi my kids to places. I write in this blog, try to help others every day, pay it forward, be the change I want to see and all that. I am raising four kids, three of whom are teens with their issues. I am going through menopause and losing weight at a fast rate. I have improved my sex life and am getting inventive with that and the deepening relationship with my husband. I balance in-laws, out-laws, friends, and all the usual crap people do but with the added aspect of both psychology and astrology thrown in. People ten years younger than I am get tired when faced with my high energy and fast processing. I keep up on so much and do it so fast that I am at capacity. Time is my enemy; I only have so much to spare and it is already pretty much taken up. My energy, though higher than most, is also finite and must be carefully managed for everything I am currently running. That's another thing I do; time and energy management.
So when I ask people for help with something, it is because I am already at an unusually higher capacity than my peers. It drives me nuts that my very excellence at competence works against me; people just expect me to be able to do and handle everything. Well I am here to say that I am not and that sometimes, I need a little help. It would be nice to get it when I ask for it. Yes, this high-energy, fast, forward thinking, mover, proactive, intuitive, deep thinking, changer sometimes needs a little help and I am not afraid to ask for it anymore.
I feel like that computer.
I am fast; I think fast and think several steps ahead of most people, I talk fast, I understand concepts fast, I extrapolate things fast, I sense and intuit things fast and I do things fast. I make a lot of people nervous because of how fast I process things, how much energy I have at my age, how open minded I am, and how much I get done. They freak out when they find out how much I am doing mentally every day. I am a 220 volt, fast processor person. Yet even I have a limit on how many programs I can run at once.
I am running the entire household. Everyone does that, right? But I run it two steps ahead, always thinking of every one of the five other people's physical, emotional, mental and spiritual needs, as well as my own. Yep I think about all that. I think of the future and take steps NOW to have a long-term outcome that is beneficial for everyone in the family. I do all the finances, all the household inventory, menu planning, meal making, event planning and implementation (including financial considerations for these) and family health appointments. I handle three ADD people in the house, one non-ADD person who is having anger about having to "help" her siblings who are ADD, one growing boy and a complex husband all the while growing, learning and changing my own self and inner life. I keep up on local and national politics, vote every election, write politicians about issues, phone them up too, write the local paper and editorial sections of state papers. I keep everyone eating healthier than most. I make lesson plans for two kids, teach one of those kids, monitor the other three kids and take 12 credits per semester of upper division online classes for my own degree. Meanwhile, I explore things I didn't know and read everything I can. I maintain relationships both deep and superficial, and I keep up a homeschool P E day group as well as taxi my kids to places. I write in this blog, try to help others every day, pay it forward, be the change I want to see and all that. I am raising four kids, three of whom are teens with their issues. I am going through menopause and losing weight at a fast rate. I have improved my sex life and am getting inventive with that and the deepening relationship with my husband. I balance in-laws, out-laws, friends, and all the usual crap people do but with the added aspect of both psychology and astrology thrown in. People ten years younger than I am get tired when faced with my high energy and fast processing. I keep up on so much and do it so fast that I am at capacity. Time is my enemy; I only have so much to spare and it is already pretty much taken up. My energy, though higher than most, is also finite and must be carefully managed for everything I am currently running. That's another thing I do; time and energy management.
So when I ask people for help with something, it is because I am already at an unusually higher capacity than my peers. It drives me nuts that my very excellence at competence works against me; people just expect me to be able to do and handle everything. Well I am here to say that I am not and that sometimes, I need a little help. It would be nice to get it when I ask for it. Yes, this high-energy, fast, forward thinking, mover, proactive, intuitive, deep thinking, changer sometimes needs a little help and I am not afraid to ask for it anymore.
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