I am, for the most part, a gray-area person. This means I don't usually ascribe to absolutes much because humanity is full of diverse folks for which absolutes do not fit. Having said that I should also say that there are some things that, as I get older and more experienced, I see do have some absolutes. I think the same gray area focus needs to be applied to this issue. In other words, to say there should be no absolutes is just as absolutist as the absolutes themselves.
What on earth am I getting at? Most gray-area thinkers will not consider the possibility that there may be some absolutes in life; they just cannot fathom that. Yet in their unwillingness to see that it is a possibility, they are just as entrenched as the absolutists. Real open-minded living means being open to ALL possibilities, including absolutes. What a concept!
For example, it is all the rage to pressure people to be open about things that they may not feel comfortable with. The folks who have open minds often begin polarizing themselves into a sort of "if you are not open-minded like us, you are inferior." There is an absolute in that belief because it leaves no room for and/or. It is not an inclusive belief.
What is an absolute I have experienced? There may be a lot of love to go around but only so much time and time IS love to most people. Yep, People can have love enough to go around for everyone but time is finite and every time you add another person (like having another child for example) or another interest, the time available to everyone gets smaller per person. And most children and people see time as love so they begin to resent that change in the amount of time they get. They perceive that smaller slice of time as being a smaller slice of love.
This is where jealousy kicks in and rears its head. Jealousy is the natural feeling that you are missing something you feel you deserve and that someone, (or something) else is getting what you believe is rightfully yours. When it comes to time=love, their feelings make sense. Jealousy is not a dirty word then but an outward emotion of the inner knowledge of a shrinking amount of time=love. Making the jealous person feel guilty about their feelings only makes things worse.
Let's be real; less time IS less time and it feels like less love even if it doesn't mean that. The feeling is legitimate and no one should be made to feel guilty for feeling it. No matter how much you explain that there is enough love to go around, people inherently know we all spend more time with (and on) those people (and interests) we care about. We can say there's enough love until the cows come home but it will not make any difference to the people involved; they are not fooled. They KNOW they are getting less of something important.
Now that I have said what I see as an absolute, let the rebuttals and arguments begin.
What on earth am I getting at? Most gray-area thinkers will not consider the possibility that there may be some absolutes in life; they just cannot fathom that. Yet in their unwillingness to see that it is a possibility, they are just as entrenched as the absolutists. Real open-minded living means being open to ALL possibilities, including absolutes. What a concept!
For example, it is all the rage to pressure people to be open about things that they may not feel comfortable with. The folks who have open minds often begin polarizing themselves into a sort of "if you are not open-minded like us, you are inferior." There is an absolute in that belief because it leaves no room for and/or. It is not an inclusive belief.
What is an absolute I have experienced? There may be a lot of love to go around but only so much time and time IS love to most people. Yep, People can have love enough to go around for everyone but time is finite and every time you add another person (like having another child for example) or another interest, the time available to everyone gets smaller per person. And most children and people see time as love so they begin to resent that change in the amount of time they get. They perceive that smaller slice of time as being a smaller slice of love.
This is where jealousy kicks in and rears its head. Jealousy is the natural feeling that you are missing something you feel you deserve and that someone, (or something) else is getting what you believe is rightfully yours. When it comes to time=love, their feelings make sense. Jealousy is not a dirty word then but an outward emotion of the inner knowledge of a shrinking amount of time=love. Making the jealous person feel guilty about their feelings only makes things worse.
Let's be real; less time IS less time and it feels like less love even if it doesn't mean that. The feeling is legitimate and no one should be made to feel guilty for feeling it. No matter how much you explain that there is enough love to go around, people inherently know we all spend more time with (and on) those people (and interests) we care about. We can say there's enough love until the cows come home but it will not make any difference to the people involved; they are not fooled. They KNOW they are getting less of something important.
Now that I have said what I see as an absolute, let the rebuttals and arguments begin.
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