My Twins turn 18

Tomorrow, my twin daughters turn 18.  Though it will be a special day for them, it is also a special day for me and my husband (their father).  These daughters were the culmination of five years of hard, emotionally exhausting, grueling fertility work.  Their conception was a medical miracle and their births were amazing because I just pushed them out, one at a time.  They have been healthy for the most part;  no serious illnesses, debilitations, diseases, or disabilities.  On top of all that, they are beautiful.  But these are not the things I think about as I see them and think of their impending 18th birthday.  

I see all the days and nights that I begged the universe "Please...let me get them to 18 unharmed, undamaged, unmolested."  As that magical 18th birthday approaches, I am astounded that they actually are arriving unharmed, undamaged, unmolested.  To achieve that took everything my husband and I could give and then some.  People made fun of our vigilance, our protectiveness, our forward thinking.  Yet when they were only weeks old, I remember crying in my then therapist's office "Am I too protective?"  He said "No, you are the ever-watchful Mother hawk, wings protectively spread over your babies, your sharp eyes searching, your talons ready to fend off danger, your beak ready to peck away predators."  Thank the universe for his words. 

I don't regret a moment of all that hard work because my daughters are now facing adulthood armed with self assurance, self esteem, confidence, the ability to think for themselves, the knowledge of how much they are loved and cared for securely ensconced within them, cautions engraved upon their hearts.  Other teens look up to them, adults admire them, kids love them and they are smart, practical, careful, yet ready to do and be what they want to do and be. 

Tomorrow I will take out their baby and toddler and childhood pictures and cry over them even as I welcome them into a new relationship with me.  We can now be friends; something I have looked forward to from the first admonition, the first NO I had to say, the first denial of a want they had, the many arguments in which I had the last say because I was the adult.  It will be hard to let them determine their own lives but so worth it because their Dad and I  will ALWAYS be there to love them with no recriminations or judgement.  And unlike our parents, we will not walk away and stop helping them;  we will instead be there when they fall, hold them when they cry, try our best to walk that fine line between helping and taking over.  Unlike our parents, we will give financially sometimes, be a place they can always come to in case and give emotional support in hard times.

Tomorrow I lose two children but I gain two new friends.  I can hardly wait!